The Joey Factory

For the last two months I’ve been having issues walking in and out of stores because I thought my new phone was setting the alarms off.

Yesterday, Danny and I went to the mall. Our first stop was Barnes & Noble Bookstore. When we walked through the door I set the alarm off. Immediately,without looking around, I feel embarrassed. I imagine massive amounts of people looking at me and pointing, “He stole something!” I then ask you how can I steal something if I haven’t even walked through your door yet? I just shrugged and say quietly to anyone who may or may not care, which no one does care, “…It’s my new phone. It sets off alarms.”

So we look around and we go towards the media area. Here I will have to walk through another alarm and set it off, yet it again. I walk through and suddenly, “Beep!!!”

The lady putting cds away says, “Hi there.” And I pretend that it was nothing.

Danny and I look around some more and I see some movies I’ve been dying to buy from now until the rest of my life. Basquiat with David Bowie as Andy Warhol. Huge fan of the YouTube clips of this movie! Want this movie. Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, of all the Disney movies, I’ve never owned this one.

Out we walk from the media area and guess what happens on my way out? BEEP! BEEP!

A thousand people, I feel, are now looking and pointing at me thinking I stole something! “You over there! I don’t believe that your phone has set off the alarm! Pull your pants down and lets see what you are hiding!” I swear to God! It sucks, in this particular situation, to be the center of attention!

So quite, manically, I say to the lady, “I think my phone keeps setting off these alarms can I try and figure out for sure what it is?”

She doesn’t seem to mind. So I walk my coat through and no beeps. Then I have Danny walk my phone through. No beeps.

“It’s okay,” she says. “You don’t need to take your clothes off.”

By this point I do indeed have a rather small audience watching me. At this point I really could care less. I proceed to think, “maybe it’s my belt, that’s metal.” I wave it through and there are no beeps!

I walk through and I of course beep. Please somebody please deactivate me, so that I can shop like a normal person again! Sure I’m making a huge ass of myself, but you know, when you set off every alarm in every store you shop at for two months, you start to wonder!

The nice lady says, “Sometimes it’s your wallet. They put those tags in your wallet and sometimes they forget to deactivate them.” She looks a little less worried now that I’ve retrieved my coat covered in Twilight memorabilia buttons, my belt now back around my waist and my scarf back around my neck.

I take my wallet and give it to Danny and he walks through and the alarm goes off. We tell her thank you and proceed towards the exit into the food court. Boy, do I ever need some comfort food, for two reasons: I’m hungry and I just made a huge ass of myself. As we walk out of Barnes & Noble I set off the other alarm. BEEP! The army awaits to arrest me in the food court for stealing the invisible book from Barnes & Noble Bookstore!

Well! Today I emptied out my wallet and all of it’s contents and I did not find anything attached to my wallet. I did find a little magnetic strip that attaches to sunglasses at your local Target. That cute square thing that is almost impossible to take off your sunglasses, because it’s so damn sticky? Yes that thing! That little thing that measures 1.5 sq inches… THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT? Yes! That’s what has been setting off the alarms! It got stuck to the back of my debit card and has been wreaking havoc for the last two months! Well no more!

I thought after my last post, we’d lighten things up a bit. I will, however start with, yes I met my biological mother, and it wasn’t a traumatic experience. It’s cool to have met her, and we’ll see where we go from here. And now on to videos…

And now I must finish reading this book, I’ve got less than 100 pages!

p.s. Have you seen my new coat? I bought it at Target. No sightings of Target Boy. Did I make him disappear? I hope so, lol! It’s not completely identical, but if you want identical you’ll be paying shit loads of money on eBay!

IF YOU LIKED THIS BLOG, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER Joey Broyles.

I’m just now getting off my high from MTV’s 2009 VMAs and now it’s time to blog and vlog on Tuesday! The VMAs were exceptionally better this year because they decided it was time to welcome back the crowd or fans section during the show. In previous years, they had taken the fan section near the stage and just threw it out the window. Now they’ve brought it back and thus they have brought back the energy! What’s music without people to listen to it?

The VMA’s, controversial as always, had some memorable moments this year! From the opening monologue from Madonna, followed by the amazing performance with Michael(in spirit) and Janet. The Kanye West scene whore scene and wrecking Taylor Swift’s sweet moment. To an unforgettable performance by Lady GaGa. And Beyoncé: a lady of class, giving Taylor Swift her moment in the end! Russell Brand, naughty as ever and P!nk the deleted scenes of Cirque du Soleil!

Let’s back it up to Lady GaGa! She definitely had an evolution of wardrobe this evening, but let’s rewind back to her first outfit, on the red carpet with Kermit The Frog! How cool! Poor Miss Piggy. Let’s look at the outfit that she is wearing below:

I was listening to Micheal Jackson’s Dangerous album and looked at the cover and then looked at Lady GaGa’s outfit and for whatever reason there is a slight resemblance! You have to be a little odd, but see for yourself:

There’s something going on there and I’m happy to say: Whatever it is! It’s fucking amazing! R.I.P. Michael Jackson! And long live Lady GaGa, “…for God and the Gays.” A to tha motha fuckin Men! You are my gurrl!

Above is the funniest thing I’ve seen since Penis Power with Alexyss K. Tylor. If you have not seen either of these I suggest you watch both. And if you still haven’t had enough of either of these girls, do some searching on YouTube and you’ll discover these videos put to music! Remix! Holla Holla!

I believe in having a good laugh and you should have them often.

In other news I’ve began the editing process of my music video and it is coming along greater and faster than I had thought. Nonetheless, I’m waiting until September 1, 2009 to release it on YouTube and other video channels. Right now the editing process is going well, but that doesn’t mean I won’t run into huge delays or God forbid, computer melt downs! Knock on wood!(No, really. Knock on wood for me!)

One thing I’ve learned as I’ve been going through my editing process is: I have a lot of wasted footage. But better lots of footage, than too little footage. I’m trying to give the video multiple looks, but at the same time I don’t want it to be too much for the audience. Although, I’m a firm believer that if you stuff a whole bunch a shit in it, people will just have to watch it again, to get the full effect.

I’ve also taken the time to watch a bunch of other music videos just so that I know I’m on the right track. A thing I notice most about music videos is the amount of lip syncing. Some videos hardly have the artist singing in them, they focus more on a concept or feelings. I feel that you should have a lot of shots of the artist actually singing the song because it translates better.

For instance, I watched The Little Mermaid last night and Poor Unfortunate Souls is quite a number. It may be a Disney cartoon, but it would serve as a great music video. There’s hardly a shot without Ursula belting those lyrics. Now of course as you become a more established artist like Madonna or Beyoncé, you have already earned your audience’s interest. But for a new artist it’s important that you see the lyrics flowing from his or her mouth at least 75% of the time. This way you are giving everyone a proper introduction of what you look like, who you are, and what you are all about.

Now I’m not going to get into the discussion of ‘looks are not important’, because that’s completely untrue! Image is everything, especially in Hollywood. The website HOTorNOT.com says it all: HOT OR NOT. Disagree with me? Then take it up with society and oh, I don’t know, the whole world!

Remember my music video is out: September 1, 2009 on YouTube. I’ll be posting it on my blog and if you follow me on Twitter, which some of you do, it’ll be on there too!

Please don’t forget to support my campaign against Perez Hilton: I WANNA PUNCH PEREZ! Click for t-shirt!

Until next time!

xoxo,
Joey “Queen Bitch” Broyles

MONDAY:
So this girl comes into my place of business and unfortunately she thinks being stupid is cute. I’m already annoyed with her for pretending to be dumb. Pretending to be dumb is never flattering, no matter how cute you are!

She tells me that part of her bedroom chest is broken and she wants to know if we can order her a new chest for free. I ask her which part of the chest is broken and she says all of it. I ask if it was broken when she purchased it and she said no. So I explain that the company will not replace her chest, but I tell her that she can purchase a new one. She giggles.

She then asks me how much a whole bedroom set would cost her. I show her a 4 piece bedroom set and tell her the price.

She giggles and goes, “How much for a 5 piece bedroom set.”

I grab a calculator and add on the nightstand, thus making it a 5pc Bedroom set. I then tell her the price and she giggles.

I am extremely annoyed with her because I cannot stand her inappropriate responses. Unless the bitch is on some laughing gas or something, then maybe, I wouldn’t care so much. But no she is acting stupid and very immature for her age and I am annoyed.

I ask her if she needs anything else and she responds, “I like your hair.” Giggle. Giggle. Giggle.

I respond, “Thanks. Do you need anymore help with furniture?”

“No I’m fine.” Giggle, giggle, giggle. And giggle.

She was absolutely annoying. While she wandered the rest of the store, I checked my hair in one of our many mirrors. There was nothing odd about my hair, other than it was just plain messy from working. It was a neat bed head kind of messy.

And after a few minutes of wandering around she came up to me and giggled some more. Then she asked if there were any of those free water park tickets left. There were so I gave them to her and finally she disappeared.

Wednesday Morning Dream:

I was in R.E.M. sleep and the world was so fricken weird, let me tell you! In the dream I had received this CD from the future, which contained songs that would be played on the radio in the future. It may sound kind of stupid but this is where we fall down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland.

When I put the CD on I would get these glimpses into the future. For each song you played it would enhance your senses and you would hear the song playing wherever you were in the future. You would also be aware of whatever was currently going on at that time and place. And you would also be very emotionally drained for many reasons. One, because you would be experiencing this surreal reality. And two, because the current emotion you would feel, at that time and place, would feel false because you have yet to experience the situation at hand.

There were many future memories to experience as you would go through the CD and a lot of it remains to be very fuzzy, but it was still pretty crazy.

One particular scene I recall is that Danny had made partner with Andy (his brother) and they were now co-owners of the business. For whatever reason this was bad for all parties at hand. It also seemed to be a driving force that eventually split both Danny and I up.

On a real note, I simply ignore all dreams that split Danny and I up, because it happens all the time. I’ve come to terms with these dreams understanding that they display my ultimate fears: to be alone and to be without Danny. I find these dreams no different than the dreams I use to have in high school where my father would be dead and I’d be screaming at my step mother, “It’s all your fault!” No one wants to lose a loved one!

I think that my subconscious mind is the most beautiful thing I get to experience on a weekly basis, aside from love! What better escapism is there? Any way it was a neat concept and I’m sure it’s already been thought up by some Hollywood guru.

Saturday

I’ve been busy editing my music video: IF U LUV ME(GOOGLE ME) available on iTunes. And I tell you it’s really starting to come along. I’ve had a huge learning curve as far as what I can do on Final Cut Pro. It will be amazing because I had to put all the blood, sweat, and tears into it.

As far as haters are concerned: you are allowed to hate, my song invites it! “If you hate me then google me…”

Dear Mr. Walt Disney from Beyond The Grave,

When I was a little boy as far as I was concerned the only person cooler than my father was you. You brought many of my favorite characters to life including Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Mary Poppins. I do not know what my childhood would’ve been like without that escapism. I’m pretty sure that you were magical and always will be magical. But I’d like to let you know that everyone and their mother has turned your name into something, that is not you.

Before I go any further with this letter, that I hope reaches you from beyond the grave, I’m aware of the consequences of being blasphemous towards your company name. And I do know that if I ever become famous or a public figure I will be forever banned from promoting your wonderful company. But I must say this to you sir: What the hell have they done to you?

First of all your plan has gone awry and these people are charging ridiculous prices to visit your parks alone. I know that you would want every boy and every girl of all ages to be able to come to your parks and experience your magic, but some people simply cannot. Instead they will settle for amateur parks like Six Flags Great America and near by theme parks that also charge too much. Haven’t they made enough off of Miley Cyrus alone? I mean she’s everywhere and I know your company owns her. Let’s not forget the Disney Resort Hotel, Disney Store, Disney Channel, Disney Records, and ABC. The only company that may be bigger than your company is Yahoo! so you guys are not exactly hurting for money.

Here’s a screen shot Mr. Disney of what they charge two adults to see your amazing park in Florida for two days. I have never been there, but have always wanted to. I have however have been to Disneyland in California and those are my favorite childhood memories ever! I met Mickey Mouse and that was huge to a 10 year old.

Here’s what it cost for one child and one adult for two days:

This does not include parking. This does not include the Disney Gourmet food. This is only for the Magic Kingdom. Please Walt stop rolling in your grave, I know, I know! This is absolute sin. But don’t worry it’s not only your company that has become corrupt…

Let’s talk about a 2,000 year old business called Christianity they’ve been selling out their savior since the day somebody nailed him up on that awful cross. “Get your cup of Christ blood herre! Only $19.95, it will save you!” Talk about being blasphemous! Maybe this has never been said but I think the Christians and your company should take some notes, “Love your God! Don’t sell out your God!” Have you seen this site: The Holy Land Experience, in Orlando, FL.

Oh it gets worse Mr. Disney, or can I just call you Walt? They have this imaginary thing called THE VAULT, where they lock up old classic movies and keep them there and apparently you are also frozen inside the vault as well. Meanwhile you have people on eBay fighting over 2 DISC DVD Platinum Editions of Beauty and the Beast, ending bids at $50.00! Or you can wait 10 years and hope they’ll re-release it for a limited time. Don’t worry Walt they know about your company but very few know who you are. You’ve become like Christmas for Hallmark, it’s not about the birth of you, it’s about Santa Claus and presents.

One thing that stays pure in all our hearts is Mickey Mouse. He’s doing pretty good these days, aside from silly people trying to make his 2D appearance a 3D. Mickey looks best the way you created him. Mickey Mouse is definitely your legacy and by the way VH1′s 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons, named him number one! Go Mickey!

Your films have changed as well. They have things called High School Musical, which try to be wholesome but sells sex at the same time under our very noses! And we won’t even get started with the Jonas Brothers, another secret sex seller! Tsk! I fear if they make another Mickey Mouse Club it will completely destroy your image.

There hasn’t been an Animated 2D musical Disney movie in over a decade! Seriously that is what you were known for and they have been too busy with computer technology movie companies like Pixar to make a musical. Luckily someone at the helm of your company has decided to go back to this idea with The Princess and the Frog, coming out later this fall. It’s nice to know that not everyone has forgotten who you were. That 2D Animation and the frame by frame hand drawn artistry really was your signature. And no computer can ever touch that.

Other tid bits you may need to know:

You’ve been on Broadway several times. People love you on Broadway, that’s where your classic style has survived, aside from the animation.

You have your own fleet of Disney Cruise Lines!

Your parks are all over the world, hence you’d think they’d be cheaper just like Walmart.

And if you were still alive you’d be supreme ruler of the world!

Well on a side note I’d like to personally thank you for turning Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland into my favorite movie of all time! Please Walt come back and stop your company from teasing dreamers who still wish upon a star and just want to see Disney World. Help me Mr. Walt Disney, you’re our only hope!

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

I love the character I’ve created, Shanikwa Jones. She is an amazing character and I love playing her. But lately my energy level and enthusiasm have grown numb. It takes a lot of my time and energy to portray this character and I’m not sure if I’m bored of her or if it has something to do with: supply and demand. She isn’t heavily wanted. I’ve been trying to get more and more hits on YouTube with no success. So I’m hoping I can change that.

Currently I have 28 videos on YouTube dedicated to her. And I know that one of the issues is people on YouTube have very short attention spans and they seem to hate everything. It’s very hard to put so much effort into something and then just be told, “this is stupid.” So my need to succeed is sometimes influenced by these random jerks on YouTube. But that comes with everything you do online. And trust me if you slam me, I slam you back and make a t-shirt with your face on it. They call that defaming someone, I call it, “Go fuck yourself.”

Of course on the other hand Shanikwa has a pretty big fan base on Myspace. People send her messages all the time and say really sweet things and that definitely makes it all worthwhile. But sometimes trying to come up with new and exciting material can be difficult. Hence the prolonging of my Shanikwa movie. OMFG! Talk about doing it all yourself. First I’d like to thank all the talent that I was able to manage getting in this film, but the EDITING is killing me. I want the movie to be an A+ movie, but I do not have the computer power or producers or any film gurus to help me with this. But with the same token this is suppose to look like one of those really bad films, that is sort of the charm of Shanikwa.

Now about new episodes and the future of The Shanikwa Shanikwa Show.

With Shanikwa it has always been about what’s really raunchy and shocking. Also she flourishes more when she has an audience to interact with. For instance when she’s with a few students from a local high school she becomes this thing that words cannot express. Her looks alone are shocking. I mean, you don’t see people who look like her every day. But on a personal note I have no friends who have Tuesdays and Thursdays off, like I do. If there is a friend out there who for sure wants to be my camera person, LET ME KNOW RIGHT NOW! All you have to do is stand by the tripod and hit record, we’re not a fancy film production, yet.

Now I’ve been toying with the idea of having Shanikwa do a new series called: News With Flavor with Shanikwa Jones. Now of course this isn’t even original at all, but I think I can incorporate Shanikwa’s style into a news show to make it stand out. My troubles I’m having right away are, of course, I have run out of room to shoot such a show. My office, where I shoot, is filled. It has all been done before and I’m trying really hard to figure out how to make it look like a real news show. I know I need a few more lights and a router speed controller, for variable lighting. Then I can properly light a green screen. Green screen is easy when you have the allotted room for one. Otherwise you have what is called green spill: this is where it gets all over the actors face and then you are royally fucked.

Either way you can see that I clearly have a passion for this character because I’ve already dedicated a few years of my life to her and look how much I can write about an Africasion Queen Bitch. I love everything about Shanikwa right down to the platinum lip stick and black eye liner. When I portray her I have so much fun and I hope I can expand this character into the success that she deserves. So I will make a plan right here, right now!

THE PLAN:
1. Finish that damn movie!
2. Finish that damn movie!
3. Make more episodes!
4. Try out the news thing and see how it works
5. Finish that damn movie!
6. Make some flyers?
7. Have that crazy poetry reading for the movie!
8. Finish that damn movie!
9. Start making episodes on Sundays, too!
10. Make a Facebook! A Twitter!

Hey friends do your part and visit and bookmark these links!

Shanikwa Videos–This will help me a whole lot if twice a month you just visit and watch my videos. Sharing them with others is a must. Please help!

Shanikwa’s Myspace–If you aren’t a friend with her on Myspace, please add her today!!

And don’t forget to visit and forward her website to your friends: Shanikwa

Thanks for your support!

I don’t really think you can officially say it’s spring until dandelions are in bloom. To me above all things spring is here when that beautiful weed is here. I don’t like that people consider them a weed. I certainly do not consider them a weed. They smell like a flower. Look like a flower. And taste like a flower. I did use to chew on these when I was a youngin’. I’m super glad to know that spring is here.

I definitely enjoy the warm weather. But I do not think I’d like the warm weather all year round. I’d become very irritable. So I’m glad that we have four seasons here.

I’m glad that spring is here, but I’m patiently waiting for something far better than spring… This rumored new iPhone 3g that may be announced at the WWDC(World Wide Developers Conference) in June. I am dying to have this iPhone and I don’t even know what features it will have, but who cares. The only thing I’m hoping for this new iPhone are two things. A rather good camera with a zoom lens and it should be able to record video! I can’t believe the current iPhone does not record video! Oh well, it better.

Another thing that I can’t wait for is this new Gossip Girl spinoff about Serena’s mom, Lily. Brittany Snow is going to play a young Lily. It should be pretty amazing. It’s to be set in the 1980s and well that in its self is fucking awesome. Look at this promo ad! OMFG! He he. I do believe I’m as gitty as a school boy right now:

And to make matters even better, No Doubt, will playing themselves back in the day. I’m glad they are back together because I need my No Doubt. “I’m just a girl…”

Speaking of No Doubt. Have you seen Gwen Stefani’s new look. Words do not describe:

And now back to me. My phone is still not working and AT&T is to have a tech person call me by tomorrow or else. I really never knew how many times I make a phone call, until you don’t have one. On my days off Danny shares his phone with me so we can still communicate back and forth for the store. I dislike his phone a whole lot, but I’m not going to complain because a phone is better than no phone. I really think I can manage waiting for a few more months for the new iPhone, even though a little piece of me dies every day, I’ll make it.

Oh and let me tell you something else. X-Men Origins: Wolverine kicked motha fuckin’ ass! Wow there was so much in there I’m still absorbing it all. I really enjoyed Hollywood’s version of connecting all the dots. From who Wolverine really is, to a whole bunch of side stories that I felt were not in the way, just an added bonus. And the last battle scene in the movie with Deadpool pretty fucking neat shit!

—–Days Later—-

I haven’t had a decent post in a while because I haven’t had much to talk about. So sporadically I’ve been adding to this one post when I have something to say. Like last night I saw Star Trek. Move over all those celebrity crushes I’ve had lately…

I’ve had a thing for All American Boys as far back as I can remember. When I was little they made me giggle. When I was in eighth grade they were cool. And over time cool translated into I have a massive crush on you. Well Chris Pine is beautiful but what makes him more beautiful is he is a fucking amazing actor! Bravo!

I admit I wasn’t a really big Star Trek fan growing up and don’t really know much about the franchise, but I’m willing to learn because it’s so cool. I have seen marathons of the old television show and I’ve enjoyed them. I’ve seen Star Trek: Wrath of Khan and I did watch Star Trek Voyager with Captain Janeway regularly. So I believe I am a fan, just not a very knowledgeable one. Oh well I’m young so I have plenty time to learn.

AND P.S. I HAVE A NEW PHONE! YAY! THE SAMSUNG SGH-A737!

I love Paris Hilton and this is a prime example of why. Look at how she loves that camera. That beautiful Hollywood Glam gleams out of her in this picture. And look at that dress it’s simply, not to sound too gay, fabulous! Say what you want about Paris Hitlon but I fucking love her. And I’m not just talking about her looks, her music too. I think people would have actually bought the cd, had it not been her. People just choose to hate her because they think all she does is party. Well as her song goes, “Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy it’s such an evil thing.” If you dig pop music I dare you to buy her cd or at least these two singles:

Screwed by Paris Hilton
Nothing In This World by Paris Hilton

While we are on the subject of music. Let me tell you what I’ve been crazy listening to the last couple of days.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I had no idea what I was missing. I heard one other song they sung for the Spider-man 3 Soundtrack and I loved it! Their new cd, It’s Blitz, is so delicious! I had noticed they released a new cd, but really paid no attention. Then Myspace was like hey look at what Lindsay Lohan is listening to… I was curious so I read her blog about the song Heads Will Roll and thought, why not i’ll buy it. Loved it. Now about a few days later I was looking for a girl rocker version of Sheena Is A Punk Rocker and guess who had one? Yep! So I bought it. And then Gossip Girl(The Best Show EVER) played another song of their new album, Runaway. Chills people! Chills!

SEALINGS by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
HEADS WILL ROLL by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
SHEENA IS A PUNK ROCKER performed by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
RUNAWAY by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Isn’t this an amazing make over of Susan Boyle?

I hope she wins the talent show. It always seems that these talent shows let people win who are under the age of 30. I think it’s high time that we start letting the 30+year old get some credit for their obvious talent. Go Susan!

Thank you Britney Spears for your support on gay marriage and on your support for love in general. Look what this girl said on Twitter the other day:

If you are unaware of what she and the world have been talking about just look it up on YouTube:

Now here come’s the rant. Gay marriage. Straight marriage. Black/White marriage. Who the fuck cares? Yes our country was founded on much of what our ancestors believed in, The Bible. But the United States of America really forgets the First Amendment and separation of church and state. Do these words mean anything to us anymore?

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The FCC doesn’t really go along with the first amendment at all. I do not believe we’ve really evolved. We have the freedom to stop each other from speaking when we create organizations like the FCC. In fact we are nothing but a large spool of film that has been spliced into a few politically correct frames. Cavemen had more freedom of speech than we do.

Gay marriage? Straight marriage? We are so fucking concerned about other people’s happiness? Since when? Oh since I’m a little bitch of a Christian with “values.” This interpretation of the Bible and definition of family says so much about your tolerance towards happiness. In fact, you might not be happy if gay people would be able to get married, right? YES! It would make you sad and offend your precious belief systems that you were brought up on. Well too bad, so sad, because the United States of America has separation of church and state, right? WRONG!

There may be the first amendment and there may be this idea of separation of church and state but that really means jack shit to the United States of America. Christianity and USA go hand in hand. You cannot separate the two at all. God is everywhere! He’s in the trees, he’s in Washington D.C. and he’s on your money. That’s right “God” is on your money.

So these narrow minded people will get their way because “God” believes in marriage between a man and a woman. I’m sorry did you say God? Or do you mean you, personally? Ah the age old trick of hiding behind your religion. SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY! Your God and mine too! How dare you use God and Jesus? Fucking blasphemous! And this whole Bible says this and that. Interpret all you want but let me recite this to you:
Romans 14:10-12
You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:” ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’ “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
See we can all throw Bible verses back and forth but it doesn’t accomplish anything other than, wow, what great memorization skills you have! Until God or Jesus comes down from their thrones, and goes up to Ellen Degeneres and says, “Hey y’all can’t get married! You are gay and you will not get to come up to heaven,” I’m not fucking hearing it from any of you.

Until then we are just humans denying each other rights to our own happiness. Thus you are a big bully just trying to take my lunch money. So simply said, “Fuck you!”

So I’m pretty sure that once I finish my three books, Augusten Burroughs and Carrie Fisher’s autobiography, I’ll be rereading the Twilight saga. Why you ask? Well because I don’t think since Through The Looking Glass have I had such a need to read a book again. I need to experience it all over again and I’m not sure why, but I have to. Especially now that these fan made posters have shown up on the internet:

This movie is gonna be great, I know it! Anyhow I can’t enough of Twilight and must read these books all over again! I’m pretty sure I’ll die if I don’t read them. I can barely breathe knowing that my good friend, Cookie, is trying to go to Italy to watch them film. Ahhhh! I really wish I had the money to go with you gurrl!

Umm this poster makes me melt as well!

Pretty much don’t Google, New Moon, unless you want to die of Twilight Orgasms. Seriously. I’m having Twigasms! I need these mystical stories on the big screen and embeded in my brain forever. I think I’m even starting to fall in love with the idea of this tragic love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob. God! Why am I such a freak?! Well I think it has a lot to do with my love for vampires, that I’ve had, oh, since I was two years old. OMFG another Twigasm!

Speaking of Twigasm be sure to go here and watch the video at the bottom of my blog! I made a whole mess of t-shirts as well as a teaser trailer for New Moon. I am dying to see this. And that’s really all I have left to say.

p.s.I’ll be putting up my first podcast soon!