The Joey Factory

NBC Cancels The Playboy Club :0(

I’m so over these large groups of parents who deem what is appropriate for me to watch on my television. It is your responsibility to monitor what your children can and cannot watch. Perhaps living in a bomb shelter would be better for YOU PEOPLE! At least if you lived in a bomb shelter you could quite literally shelter your children! Regardless though, Playboy magazine may be controversial but for me this show was hardly controversial. Regardless, if you’ve watched the show or not, you would find a drama placed in the 1960s during the era of The Playboy Club. The show followed the lives of The Playboy Bunnies, essentially waitresses in sexy bunny suits, (think a classier HOOTERS) on their journey. It was done fairly tasteful and had a murder mystery plot twist, exciting. Great cast. Great show. And even if not historically accurate, it had historical elements and was interesting to watch. But let’s face it, some tight-wadded-mother was upset with her husband for subscribing to Playboy. This same tight-wadded-mother was shocked to discover NBC was airing PORNOGRAPHY. She went out of her way to start some foolish complaint and found strength in numbers with Parents Television Council. Now this was probably a show she didn’t even take the time to watch!

And then NBC, big corporation, was intimidated by the PTC? I’m sorry, are we still living in the 1950s/1960s, apparently until the day censorship is over. America the conservative. Essentially if you want to be thought provoking you can’t do it on T.V. And then the line about the ratings not being good enough? You’ve probably heard me preach about this before but why are people still looking at real TV ratings? We do live in a world where people use a thing called DVRs, TiVo, reruns online, and iTunes to watch their show later. But if it doesn’t start with a bang, then let’s throw it away, never mind the amount of money we wasted on the production. What’s a few million? Dear Hollywood, Try to be more green with your green! I say the heck with TV and let’s move it to the internet. Oh wait those angry creeps would probably use their strength in numbers and destroy the internet. Just wait it’s coming.

I propose a new group called Protection From Over Censoring Television Council where essentially every network is protected by all these crazy groups like the PTC, OneMillionMoms, and whatever other Tipper Gore inspired censorship group. In essence this dream team would ensure quality control of over censoring and destroying potential hit shows in the future. But enough dreaming! Thanks to all these fools I will never know what happens with these characters, don’t worry I’ll get over it, in about 10 years. Thanks jerks!

Thanks for reading! Leave comments and or hate mail!

@joeybroyles

p.s. This song came to mind as I was typing, so naturally I had it on loop as I wrote my thoughts out!

A picture is worth a thousand words, so why should I say anymore!

As of Friday, the unions have agreed to take 17% out of their paychecks for health care and pension plans, in return they want to keep their right to bargain. Sounds reasonable, right? So why has Scott Walker turned this offer down? Because it’s not about balancing the budget for him, it is about breaking the unions. Since unions are the Democrats strongest allies in elections, it only makes sense to shut down the system. Then the Republican party can take full control of all future elections. As Rachel Maddow put it, “bake sales vs. billionaires.”

Hmm let’s see, sounds a little like a George Lucas movie. “Execute Order 66.” If you’ve seen Star Wars, then you remember the big Jedi massacre. After the massacre of the keepers of the peace, Emperor Palpatine took over and evil began to reign over the galaxy. Scott Walker is no different than Emperor Palpatine, sure he hasn’t ordered the death of anyone, but he is trying to suffocate the Democrats. The 14 democratic senators of Wisconsin should do as Yoda did and stay in the Dagobah System and wait for the right time to act.

To the 14 democratic senators of Wisconsin, I respect what you’ve done and are doing. You have given the people a true voice, giving us time to protest for what we believe in. As far as I’m concerned you are the keepers of the peace, you are all master Jedis. Sounds a bit lame, right? Okay, you are all heroes, just keep doing what you are doing! In return we will march and protest for the unions, until Scott Walker and his party listen to what we have to say.

There’s always hope and I am hopeful that maybe if we keep marching on, we can change the world! Scott Walker is stubborn and so we shall be just as stubborn! KEEP FIGHTING THE FIGHT!

Thanks for reading.

-Joey Broyles

Stay informed on this topic! Watch some videos on the matter attached below:

(Rachel Maddow Video: Bake Sales Vs. Billionaires)

(Wisconsin Repulicans Go for the killshot)

(Ed Schultz Exposes Governor Scott Walker)

From the creators of Shanikwa Jones (me) comes the singing operatic diva: G-PINK. Singing the latest protest song about Wisconsin’s Governor, Scott Walker. Click the video and enjoy!

Protests continue in Wisconsin for all fellow state unions who will lose bargaining rights in order to “adjust the budget” in the state of Wisconsin. 18 districts are closed today. Scott Walker has called the National Guard, just in case. Follow the guy who created this on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/fnSZ3I

SCOTT WALKER PROTEST SONG (Scott Walker Is A Douche Berry)

Be sure to follow me @joeybroyles

Apparently the world is up in arms and now there are more Zodiac signs, whatever. Astrology hasn’t been accurate predicting my life since I was about 16 years old. First and foremost astrology has always been related towards the female gender in America. Already you have lost my interest as I sit there and change the wording in Cosmo or whatever. I truly believe that by reading this garbage people manifest these things into existence and bang relationships ends, people become rich, and some even grow a self esteem. It goes without saying if you believe in something hard enough it will come true. I guess that’s one way the government could play God. “Gemini you are having a particularly difficult month. You must stimulate the economy until your life savings has diminished. It is only then you will find your inner peace.” Good for you Gemini, formerly Cancer, but I’m still a fucking Sagittarius.

(SKIP TO THE BOTTOM IF YOU WANT TO READ YOUR NEW ZODIAC PREDICTION FOR THIS MONTH)

Yet according to the stars and shit I now possess the new power of and will henceforth be called Ophiuchus! First of all, WHAT? Now like Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort I can speak like a snake or something. No, seriously Ophiuchus is some man holding a snake and he also got zapped with a lightning bolt by the Greek god Zeus. In Latin I would be called Serpentarius, now doesn’t that sound more exciting? If you are gonna sell me my new sign the least you could do is give me a name that sounds similar to Sagittarius. It will definitely ease the pain and strife into this difficult transition. I no longer have a horse’s ass and hold a bow and arrow, now I’m just some man with a snake. Ridiculous!

From the Huffington Post I was able to find the new signs and their new lists of who is who in Astrology.

Here’s the list:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

All in all I guess I should be considering myself lucky because I am the new sign and all but I don’t know if I can live up to these expectations and magical powers. I will try my best to be O Holy Ophiuchus (a.k.a. Aesclepius, Greek God of Healing and serpent holder). Did you know with these new powers, come new personality traits! Listen up folks: seeker of peace and wisdom (we’ll see), attractor of good luck and jealousy (for sport of course), interpreter of dreams (not unlike Cobb from Inception), one who reaches for the stars (fame), and wearer of plaid (sure why not). Thanks for the info nowpublic.com.

Well since I’m interpreter of dreams I may as well give you all my predictions for you this upcoming February. There’s also a conversion chart below to help you find your new you:

Capricorn: (Jan. 20 – Feb. 16) With your new super power you shall become a stripper or pimp, that’s right you get a choice. You will make mad tips and inherit a dead relative’s millions. However, heed caution to walking alone on the streets. Someone wants to rape you! Don’t forget to tell them, “No! I don’t do rape!”

Aquarius: (Feb. 16 – March 11) With your new super powers thus begins another dawning of Aquarius. Didn’t you use to be jealous because there wasn’t a song about your sign? Anyways your favorite pet will grow jealous of your new super powers and pee all over your floor. So don’t step in it! p.s. If you are laughing because you don’t have a pet, think again. There’s an angry gang of chipmunks ready to pounce all over you. My advice is to get a pet or suffer the wrath of King ChipNoots, just saying.

Pisces: (March 11- April 18) You have finally fallen in love, but here’s the thing he or she is sleeping with your neighbor! OMFG! I know, right! So here’s what you are going to have to do: CRY and get over it! There’s no telling what diseases your neighbor has and you are not to forgive your bf or gf unless they pay for everything for the rest of your life! One slip up and you get out the old shot gun. February is going to bring your true self out and how rewarding is that?

Aries: (April 18 – May 13) February is going to be a fun month for you. First of all you are going to make lots of money in all your endeavors. Go ahead and buy your significant other whatever he or she wants. This will be a great way to show a less frugal side to your partner. Guaranteed to earn you lots of special effects in the bedroom. Also try to be a little more adventurous like get sucked into The Grid (TRON) and wear super cool glowy suits, take your spouse with you! You won’t be sorry.

Taurus: (May 13 – June 21) Stop being a bitch! No one likes a bitch. You say, “But I’m not a bitch.” Oh but you are. So stop it! Remember to say your prayers every night because you are taking a long journey down to county jail after the shenanigans you will pull. Remember to wear a condom and don’t get pregnant because this baby will bite. If you are a man and reading this, the person you are sleeping with is a zombie, leave them before they eat you!

Gemini: (June 21 – July 20) Life was going well last month wasn’t it? But now you’ve got all these bills and you really wanted to spend your tax return on something else. Call me and we’ll figure it out. And by call me, I mean here’s my address and so forth! If you pay your bills the world will blow up, so remember, send me a check instead! Oh and don’t put a stop payment on it because I see all!

Cancer: (July 20 – Aug. 10) February will swallow you whole. Get out now! May I recommend cryogenically freezing yourself and make sure to thawed out by the next Christopher Nolan Batman movie in July of 2012. Trust me nothing amazing is going to happen this year other than Lady Gaga’s Born This Way album. We’ll keep in touch. Go freeze yourself now! Again February is going to swallow you whole!

Leo: (Aug. 10 – Sept. 16) The sun is finally shining on you Leo. Finally! So take advantage of this gift and make the most of it. Start with investing in that little project that you’ve been telling yourself about all these years. Love is a waste of time and the stars say “don’t do it,” so don’t. You are thinking to yourself right now, “Suckers! I have the only good horoscope on here.” Well, think again, because something wicked comes this way and it isn’t a formal in law. Just think you are doomed and accept your fate. I know some big rocks you can crawl under. Sucker!

Virgo: (Sept. 16 – Oct. 30) Check your 8 ball three times before leaving your house on February 5th. Something crazy is going to happen. Remember that one bad thing you did a long time ago? You thought, “no one will ever find out,” well it’s time to confess. LIAR! The stars will come down on you so hard you’ll think it’s the 4th of July. Snakes, lizards, toads, and the wrath of God I tell you. Your one redeeming day is the February 17th because stars can only fall for 16 days in a row. What? No one ever told you that? Well I’m telling you now, bitch!

Libra: (Oct. 30 – Nov. 23) Warning with your new super power you will be sex crazed and should be locked in an institute or steer clear of all Capricorns! Stop going to that strip club immediately! If you know a pimp, your lust for him or her will over power you and there will be nothing to stop you from making him or her yours. Dead serious become a hermit and steer clear of all Capricorns or you are going down town. And you aren’t going down town so you can “get away” you are going to jail!

Scorpio: (Nov. 23 – Nov. 29) You will be studying a strange phenomenon that will occur from February 1st though February 16th and it isn’t your mold on your basement floor. The stars have chose you, Scorpio, to conduct experiments on something that involves teaching Professor Lennox’s pet chipmunk (who has many prejudices against people who have birthdays from Feb. 16 – March 11) how to be a gang leader. See Aquarius for deeper insight on the matter. Just strange!

Ophiuchus: (Nov. 29 – Dec. 17) Lucky you! You are the lottery ticket winner! You are the new sign. You’ll feel hazy for the first couple of tries trying to pronounce your new sign, but you’ll get use to it. (oh-few-kiss) But don’t worry you will become the most powerful man or woman in the History Of The World Part 2. No one will be able to kill you, seriously! You will live forever! Congratulations and if you don’t like what the stars have said lie and pick another sign! But why would you pick another sign with traits like dream interpreter and wearer of plaid, duh!

Sagittarius: (Dec. 17 – Jan. 20) With your new super powers you will now be able to say what’s on your mind. Say it out loud with me, “I am a failure. I suck at this life.” But now that you know that you are a failure you will have the chance to ride the stars, literally! They are leaving February 17 at Midnight. So don’t be late! For more information please refer to Virgo. Yeah, it’s all kinds of 2012 don’t worry about it!

Just wait until next month if you survive! Happy fortunes to all! Muah ha ha ha!

***Upon further research I have learned that those born before 2009 still keep their same sign. It happens upon when you were born. Which proves my point, this is a bunch of garbage: MAKE YOUR OWN SIGN!***

The show opened with Rihanna. Good vocals for Love The Way You Lie Pt. II, but after that the world came crashing down with CD vocals, back up singers, and Rihanna singing a note here and there. Showcasing again that she doesn’t perform well live. The back up vocalist sang her part to enhance Rihanna. Always love her studio work but the performance was poor quality. She has no substance and they have to add layer after layer of vocals to enhance what we know is the voice of Rihanna. But seriously a light show will not hide bad vocals!

RECAP OF THE FIRST HALF HOUR
Text message Log from a friend about the first half hour:

K: Did I miss anything on the AMAs I didn’t even know they were on

J: Horrible performance by Rihanna. Bad performance by Enrique and Pitbull enter fast forward thru Miley Cyrus… Crappy Diddy and new group. Fast forward. Taylor Swift wins and crappy Kid Rock fast forward.

K: Rihanna can’t ever perform live

J: She did well with the slow song and then ruined all her awesome singles.

Katy Perry‘s Firework. I was very excited to hear this, as it is one of my favorite songs off her new album. I was excited to see that she was going to use a children’s choir! And then she opened her mouth and it progressively got worse. I’ve seen her perform well live before, so maybe it was just a bad performance. Seriously do people just not rehearse before the show or what? How much studio magic is performed on her? As I said usually she does so well live, confused!

Justin Bieber was trying to be Greyson Chance. I seems Bieber “found” this talent of being able to play the piano. He sang live and that was far better than his lip synced performance at MTV Video Music Awards. Poor kid is going through the change though, balls have dropped, and we’ll see if he can hit those high notes next year. Still he’s sweet, just don’t rip off Greyson Chance from Ellen.

Bon Jovi sang live and played live. There’s a good idea! Oh and did you notice they didn’t have a CD playing their back up vocals? Yes I know they are a band, but still. Sure they may be past their prime but I’m not embarrassed to call myself a fan.

P!nk had a good performance but not spectacular. No singing during the chorus, belting random parts of the chorus does not count. This is one performer who I thought would actually steal the show. She didn’t have to fly in the air but she could have gotten me a little more excited.

Neyo was amusing and he can sing. I found it unique that he was giving us a review of all his new singles to come. Still it was a bit confusing at times, but he sang with soul and knew how to sell the song, thus selling himself and not the other way around. I really think singers should take some notes from him as a performer and a producer.

Taylor Swift was beyond pitchy! She had her moment and for some reason people still find her, desirable? She really should thank Kanye West for making her unforgettable. And who gave her permission to go and ruin OneRepublic’s hit Apologize, if you are going to mix it up, sing it well, don’t suck at it. Also finding new talents like playing the piano, sorry sister not everyone is going Gaga over you. p.s. Did you notice they didn’t do many close ups of her actually playing the piano? Faker!

Now on to the main event of the evening: Christina Aguilera‘s Burlesque. She worked the stage. Sang full out and didn’t hold anything back. Is it her best performance ever? No, but that performance finally made me realize that she has a real voice. She doesn’t need a computer to sing, she is just Christina Aguilera and don’t fight me on this because she is a goddess, end of discussion!

Usher use to be able to sing live with meaning and soul. He may be able to dance like there’s no tomorrow but as far as his singing was concerned it’s all over. I couldn’t hear his vocals over the synthesizers and CD vocals. But the few times I did hear him he was not at the top of his game. This breaks my heart because he use to make me wanna so bad!

Train. Also sang live and played live and there was none of that back up noise or auto-tune to help them find the right note. Sure their songs are over played, but they pretty much sound like their recording live and that’s impressive. Whatever happened to talent? Look no further than Train, there’s the talent.

The next performance that made me want to spew green vomit was Ke$ha. She did her numbers Take It Off and We R Who We R, but she is all auto-tune and that’s it. Neat that she tried to show us she could play guitar by smashing it on the floor. Here are some of my live tweets from twitter last night:

“Confused. Am I watching the animated movie 9 or the #amas? Nothing more entertaining than a drunk horse singing on stage!”

“As per usual the AMAs blow hardcore. I will be replacing the phrase “this sucks” with “Ke$ha”

Of course it doesn’t help that Ke$ha can’t sing and yet everyone is into listening to a computer sing. It’s a different music world where they provide quantity but it is rare to find quality. When people like Lady Gaga come along you do your best to cherish those raw and well performed live moments. Take notes Ke$ha because you Ke$ha!

NKOTBSB (minus Kevin). New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys performing together! OMFG I was so excited until they performed together. First of all BSB minus Kevin is not cool, but still how cool, they are making a comeback tour! Except it wasn’t cool at all because their vocals were rancid. Then again they couldn’t perform well live even during their prime.

It was all down hill until I heard Step By Step by NKOTB. Oh Jordan Knight! He can still sing with sexy falsetto, now there’s a boy band! They sound smooth and good live and they know how to blend their vocals. AJ, Brian, Howie D, and Nick take some notes! But then when all the boys started singing each other’s songs it was just awful. There were no new songs from the boys just reruns. NKOTB doesn’t need BSB and BSB doesn’t need Nick Carter, I do!

My final word doesn’t come from me but from @ericloehr on Twitter:
“The AMAs are proving that though some of the top pop songs of today are quality tunes, they are so manufactured they sound awful live.”

I think that sums it up!

I am by nature sometimes an angry, complaining, little brat. I am aware of this and so I try to rise above it. I fail several times a week at this task but I truly do not wish harm on anyone other than the regular earwig that now stalks me in my home (another story, another blog et vlog). Anyway I was doing my daily narcissism check on YouTube when I stumbled across today’s Featured video: Introducing NEW YouTube Mobile!

YouTube has a new and improved mobile site for your cell phone, cool, and I thought I’d watch this guy’s review. It was a fine review and very informative. Now per usual YouTube commentators you have the cyber bullies leaving stupid comments like “Is this guy gay?” “You’re video is gay” “Stop shaking the phone fagot” and so on. If you know me I get really dramatic and angry when this happens to my videos! Now this lucky guy who gets featured on YouTube is subject to the same garbage. What is it in our nature that we feel that we can just be so evil to anybody? YouTube is an amazing place where you can share and express your creativity to the fullest and sadly it is also the place where people go to be bullies! And there is no other word for it!

These bullies rule the world with their negativity from comments like “this is so gay” to “you suck” and my favorite “Dude, you have too much time on your hands.” Let’s be frank that if you took the time to Google their user names you will find a trail of negative comments showcasing that they are doing this to a lot of other YouTube users. Anonymity is the YouTube Bully’s best friend and it gives them this power to do and say whatever they want online.

In one instance, I bullied the bullier a few years ago. He had left negative comments about my video and so I look him up, found his trail, dedicated a website to him, and sent all his harassed users this website where they could express how they felt. I was into Heath Ledger’s Joker and felt like Robin Hood stealing from the rich and giving to the poor using his same tactics against him. Later the video was taken down by Warner Brother’s but all in all I did not feel better about the situation. I bullied the bullier thus becoming the thing I hate.

Now back to this video Introducing NEW YouTube Mobile!. I was pretty upset with the outcome of many users writing nasty things to this nice guy and figured this time instead of making a big scene I’d just write the person being bullied. In the letter I pretty much said that his video was good and I liked it and it didn’t matter to me if he was “straight, gay, or an alien.” I sent this guy a letter of encouragement because in truth when I get attacked that’s all I want is one person to say, “I liked your video.” Everyone deserves a chance to hear that.

Here’s the final word to those YouTube bullies who enjoy their anonymity a little too much. You call us “gay” and you tell us how much we “suck” and how we have too much time on our hands. Well in about 10 minutes I can find your YouTube history and count the 30 videos you watched today. And it seems to me that you, dude, have too much time on your hands!

Touché, touché, sashay, away!

Dedicated to TheWillofDC

Americans in general take the freedoms we have for granted. We can shoot our mouths off and say what we’d like because we have freedom of speech. We can vote. And for the most part there are laws that say we are all equal. However when it comes to free giveaways we take free for granted.

Currently, I work in the retail business and as part of our advertisement with a local radio station we’ve been giving out free tickets for swimming. The point of the free giveaway is for us to introduce new customers to our store and give them something free in exchange for coming in. Let me tell you the word free has turned into the word greed.

First example, customer comes in and receives their four free tickets and then they have the nerve to ask for more. I explain that each customer is allowed the standard free four pack of tickets. He of course thinks that’s not fair because he has a large family of 20. Perhaps he should invite five adult representatives from the family to collect 20 tickets. Now if I were to give into his demands then he’d pass that information on to his friends. Word of mouth travels fast and soon I’d have to deal with that and it’s just not fair to the other customers.

Second example, customer brings entire family in and tries to pass them off as friends or “that’s not my daughter, she’s here for her family.” First of all there is something called a family resemblance and that girl who is not your daughter sure has a lot of your facial features and her dad’s eyes. So please don’t come in here and lie to me. I really feel that when it comes to something free people have no pride. I have no problem if she came in the following week to pickup another set, but don’t use your children to score more free tickets.

The best part about this whole free swimming thing is it’s one day only. At the rate we’ve been giving these tickets out, which consequently we are out of, I don’t believe the water to people ratio is in anyone’s favor. I’m imagining this mass of skin covering the water and it totally reminds me of something out of What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams. Remember the scene when Williams has to go down to hell to find his wife and there is this huge mass of bodies. Well that’s what it’s going to be like that day for sure!

Good luck people and happy swimming!

Have you been reading Entertainment Weekly’s articles lately? They have become more about gossip than about actual reviews on music, movies, etc. I have posted my own comments on individual articles but it has come to my attention that this magazine has turned into garbage. But I suppose Hollywood will do that to you. Now of course this is not just about Entertainment Weekly, this is about these little stories about Gaga isn’t original or Christina is copying Lady Gaga and so on.

M.I.A. vs. Gaga.

This is a bunch of bull because the two artists have nothing in common musically and yet M.I.A. is calling Lady Gaga a mimic of Madonna, Grace Jones, Bowie, and of herself. Now if you were as old as the Earth, for argument’s sake, you would clearly recognize that there have been dozens of mimics throughout history. Madonna is not the first to do anything, Grace Jones isn’t the first weird performance artist, and so on. The expression is, “it’s all been done.” All songs sound the same, all notes have been played, all stories have been told. What is different and fascinating as we evolve as artists and human beings is the retelling of that same old story and the reinvention of the same song and dance. If you seek originality you are going to have to leave because we are all pretty monotonous on planet Earth. In short M.I.A. there is nothing new about you and your little bubble you live in.

Grace Jones Vs. Lady Gaga

This story annoys me to no end. In essence Grace Jones claims that it “pisses” her off that Lady Gaga is copying her style or whatever. Let me tell you something Grace Jones being weird and artistic has been done over a thousand and one ways. You are no doubt an amazing performance artist, but you and Lady Gaga are two different breeds. Gaga may be inspired by your looks but I know that all of those outfits you’ve worn throughout the years were inspired by someone or something as well. You, Grace Jones, are not original but I appreciate your weirdness because quite frankly you are super creepy and it’s growing on me. See her video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgMn2OJmx3w

Christina Aguilera Copies Gaga and Madonna

Who's copying who? I can't tell! SARCASM!

Apparently you all have forgotten that Christina Aguilera does not need computers to enhance her voice. She does not need little monsters. And she does not need to be accused of being irrelevant. Her voice will stand the test of time and her vocal ability is much more vast than Lady Gaga’s and Madonna’s combined. The thing that really ticks me off is that if any woman or man wants to be provocative you are instantly compared to Lady Gaga. What the hell? If you read this blog, you know I would die for Gaga, but seriously? The world did exist before Stefani Germanotta found her Gaga. And now that Christina is back she’s accused of being like Lady Gaga. I don’t know if you know this but Gaga and Madonna were not the first women to don a dominatrix’s outfit or the first to experiment with one’s sexuality, again it’s all been done before. Appreciate the voice that is Christina, apparently you forgot that once upon a time she ruled the land. I will not deny that Xtina is paying homage to Madonna’s Express Yourself music video, but again that hair do was worn before Madonna and that style is circa Great Depression, not circa Madonna. Oh and did you know that dominatrix’s have been around for years? Check out a picture from the 1920s, now who is copying who?

She must have saw Lady Gaga when Gaga was time traveling...

Christina Aguilera’s I’m Not Myself Tonight Music Video

The Stupid Articles That Drove ME to this post are below:

Lady Gaga vs. M.I.A.
Lady Gaga vs. Grace Jones
Christina Aguilera Is Trying To Be Gaga.

So here is what happened kids! Welcome to retail drama. It’s the same whether it be food or furniture.

Christine believes that because she saw one person get something taken out the front door that she has automatically earned this privilege to get shit taken out the front door only.

She came in to pick up her two chests and I said to her the usual thing I say to all our customers, “Okay I’ll get those ready in back. I’ll have you pull around to the back garage door and we’ll load up.” Most people find this to be a reasonable offer. Not Christine.

“Why I gotta drive around to the back?! You always tell me I gotta go around the back. And I see other people get their stuff brought through the front door.”

I am snappy! “We always have people pull around the back. It’s nothing new. We have on occasion taken stuff through the front door because it was right next to the front door. Your stuff is in back. That’s why we have you pull around to the back…”

She interrupts, “Ah hell no! That ain’t true you take it out the front. I don’t need to go round the back! You gon take it through that front door like you do for all the customers. I ain’t goin round to the back!”

“Well we usually go around to the back because it’s faster and there is less stuff in the way to bring it to your vehicle. But if you insist we’ll let you get it through the front door because you are a princess!”

“Oh I’m a princess! Okay den! I’m a princess!”

“Yep. Meet you out front,” incoherent mumbling and swearing under my breath as I walk hurriedly to the back.

This whole situation is absolutely ridiculous that she wants the shit to go through the front door. What’s fucking stupid is that it doesn’t really matter, other than I have to make sure not to hit the maze of furniture on my way up. It’s really the principle of the thing, we make all our customers go through the back door. Exceptions of course if it is right next to the front door or if they pick up a floor model before we get it taken down and put in back. I will tell you right now I do appreciate her business, I just don’t appreciate her fucking attitude. Of course I’m obviously guilty of attitude as well, but I digress.

I cart the first of two 5 drawer chests, wrapped in plastic and cardboard, up through the front door, which Christine kindly opens. Magically her attitude is completely gone because like a princess she has gotten her way. She may think because she is bigger and louder than me that she can get her way, but honestly it just takes too much energy out of me to even care. I’m wasting enough energy writing about it as it is.

I cart the second chest through the front door and the gentleman helping Christine says, “Ain’t you gonna help load these.”

I snidely remark, “Well usually that’s a back door special but sure I can help you load it.”

We say are goodbyes and I really don’t think any of this would have been a big deal if Christine had been a kind person. But she was rude and defiant and didn’t care to hear me speak, she just wanted her way or no way. Christine was completely capable of driving her vehicle around to the back garage door, like every other customer. Maybe that’s just how she was raised, “be completely difficult and make everyone do cartwheels for you because you are a princess!”

Disclaimer: The title of this blog is sarcastic.

I have found a new friend on YouTube who has recently taken offense to my nude videos with the scarf. He can’t get enough of me because he keeps coming back for more. His first comment was so stereotypical of a YouTube user who has a lack of vocabulary and a lack of intelligence. Instead of saying something like, “You are selling out by being naked on YouTube and it really grosses me out,” he says, oh so neanderthal, “u gay get a life !!!”

To most people, I don’t have to explain how lame and brave people become by having a user account on YouTube. People enjoy the anonymity of getting to say whatever they want and getting away with it because it’s the internet. All of a sudden these people possess all this power, where they can wreak havoc on other YouTube users and they say things like, “ur gay” and “u suck”. If I had this power, which I don’t, because I choose to make myself known, I’d be a little more clever. I haven’t been in high school since 2002, but I can tell you there is no difference from high school to adulthood, you may not have bullies anymore, but you now have bullies at work and cyber bullies online.

Let’s show how far TheCorrosion has decided to go with this fun. Of course I am of no help because I like my freedom of speech and can sound just as dumb as my new found fan! Enter the screen shots from my videos “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and “Naked Boy“. If you’ve never read YouTube comments, remember the first comment is at the bottom. So you read from bottom to top.

From “Baby It’s Cold Outside”

From “Naked Boy”

We’ll see how far this war goes. I enjoy this shit because if they piss me off enough, I eventually make a video and no one can blast someone on YouTube as good as I can. Full of myself? You better believe it! I have tried Googling TheCorrosion, but I have had no such luck. All I’m sure of is that he is obviously male, until further notice, he’s 28 years old and the kicker: he’s from Canada. Why is it all my YouTube Haters are in different countries? Oh well, I’m sure this will be fun for a little while!

God speed Cyber Bullies!