The Joey Factory

I’ve been working on this for a few days and I’ve got it just right. I’ve still got to rerecord vocals and polish the instruments but Nuts And Berries will definitely be available in later fall for y’all to listen to. Until then, here’s the album artwork.

Thanks for visiting my blog and site!

@joeybroyles

Finally the world is waking up and realizing how annoying the gossip magazines have been for the past decade. I just read an article from some random website Reel Loop and the headline was shocking: “US Magazine Alliance to Limit Britney Spears Pictures.” It only took nine years for the general public to realize that they are sick of seeing Britney Spears in their grocery stores and local Walmart’s and Target’s. I can tell you growing up during the rise of Britney that at first it was kind of cool to see your favorite person everywhere all the time, as long as they were praising her. But most of the time it was always negative stories that sold more headlines.

A few years ago when I would see nasty headlines about Britney I’d go through the store and flip the magazines over to the back side. It was just starting to make me feel sick that these magazines could not get enough of someone who was having a hard time. In fact some of these magazines should have slogans like, “We’ll make you famous and then we’ll make you die.” Just awful stuff that a person should never have to go through!

I love Britney Spears even though she lip syncs and even though she doesn’t always write her own stuff, there’s just something about her and that’s what makes her special. I’m so happy to hear that magazines are cutting back on Britney stories. There are enough famous people to write about and I think it’s high time they start covering artists who are news worthy only when they are news worthy. Getting a cup of coffee at Starbuck’s is not a news story, it’s a f—ing cup of coffee!

Sending love and happy thoughts to Britney!

Luckily, Oscar de la Renta has gone Walmart with his prescription mens glasses. I needed a new pair because let’s face it, the old ones, were from three prescriptions ago. Let’s just date them 2005. So now I’ve got these sexy ones which I do enjoy for those days when contacts are just unbearable. If you wear contacts 24/7/365 like I do, you totally understand! Here’s a picture I took with my phone earlier today:

Today or yesterday, as in October 20, 2009 was an eventful day. Started the day getting my hair colored, finally have some depth, thanks LNZ! Followed by a trip to Walmart where my glasses had finally arrived after 2 weeks of waiting. Let’s dive into that story a little more, shall we?

So almost two weeks ago I ordered a pair of glasses, which are pictured above. Originally they were suppose to be in last Thursday, however, they forgot to include my prescription. Thus my glasses arrived with plastic lenses that do not improve your eye sight at all. So they had to be ordered a second time with the prescription. I was unaware that people would pay for glasses without prescriptions, well there’s fashion for you.

Back to my day (today or yesterday, which ever you prefer). As I picked up my glasses I thought it would be wise to also order another set of contacts. Well of course that was no easy task, because my old doctor’s writing is undecipherable, isn’t that a requirement for a doctor? Anyway they had to call him and I left to tour our furniture store and hang out with Danny for awhile. When I returned, an hour later, they had deciphered the hieroglyphics.

I had asked the eye technician or whatever you call them, why I had one box of Acuvue Advance for Astigmatism and one box of Acuvue Oasys from my last set I had ordered. Apparently the person who ordered them 6 months ago had made a mistake or “checked the wrong box.” But I am suppose to be wearing both Advance and not Oasys. However I had a dispute with this because I know that the Oasys let’s your eyes breathe better and certainly my left eye felt better than the right the last 6 months.

I asked if we could switch to both Oasys and so of course they had to call my previous doctor back again because Dr. Griffin was the one who prescribed this to me. He said no. Of course he would say no because that’s what he does. He also told the technician that they would have to see me first and make sure that the contacts worked okay in my eyes. Well, if I’m not mistaken, for 6 months I wore the contacts just fine in my left eye. I didn’t get why I had to see a doctor to be given the “ok” for something so minute. Then I suggested to the technician if he could ask Dr. Wilson (my new doctor) if it’d be ok if I switch…

Dr. Wilson also said I would have to make an appointment to see him to get the go ahead: so I could wear something better, more breathable for my eyes. God forbid my eyes get oxygen free of charge. I would be charged a sitting fee of $30 to let Dr. Wilson stare into my pupils and check my sight with the same prescription (but with just better, more breathable, light weight contacts). So I asked when could the doctor see me and I was told I’d have to wait another half hour. I had already spent a total of 2 hours living in the land of the Walmart Vision Center. So I said forget it and decided, screw them, I’ll deal with another 6 months with the “ok but not great contacts.”

And there went my day!

How does one become famous? That is the question that stirs through a lot of our minds at one time or another. But when we don’t accomplish this, it’s time to: “grow up.” Well I’m never going to grow up because I want to be famous just as much as the next person. And I don’t care if it takes until I’m 90 years old to be famous.

We talk about fame and being famous a lot in our culture today, but what is the definition of fame or famous. Let’s look it up, shall we… The dictionary’s definition of famous: to be “widely known.” That’s it?

A lot of us want nothing more than to be widely known by the world. This road, as we’ve seen on countless VH1 and BIOGRAPHY specials, is hard and almost impossible dream. Time and time again, we do, however, discover a new person that everyone is talking about and then, like or not, they are quickly becoming famous! Jealous? Always!

I, myself, admit that I really don’t know anyone as caught up in fame as I am. You may say that I’m a dreamer (pun intended) but it’s really the constant dream that keeps me alive above anything else. I know I’m sick with fame and I don’t care and sometimes I get so frustrated. Sometimes I think, “Joey! What do you have to offer that isn’t already out there?” It’s a depressing thought, but I know as cliche as it sounds, there’s no one else like me.

I have me to offer and that’s different than everyone else out there. Everyone has the same ideas, but it’s all in how you execute the idea to your audience. I’ve been sitting around trying to find the right idea and how to execute an idea in a way that hasn’t been done before. Unfortunately, I’m always close, but no cigar. Well fuck the cigars, I’ll find a way to get there, it’s just how!

People who are famous are no different than you or I, the only difference is they are widely known. Well, shit, if that’s all they have on you, then everyone can be famous. But I’m not interested in just becoming famous, I’m in it for the long haul, like Madonna. Now there is a woman who is famous and who has staying power! She is just as potent as the first day she was all of a sudden famous. If anyone wants to know how to be famous go ask her!

Here are a few things I do know about those who are famous and stay famous.

Evolution.

People say when an artist or an actor changes they have: “sold out.” Well let me ask you how long will you be interested in someone who acts in the same type of movie over and over? I don’t know the difference between Miss Congeniality and The Proposal, and I doubt Sandra Bullock does either? If you are a musical artist/group like: The Fray, for instance. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing different renditions of How To Save A Life! You either switch it up or you are left behind.

Having an awareness.

People that have staying power in Hollywood are very aware of their surroundings. They know what’s in and out. They read or are debriefed about what’s going on in the world and in the immediate Hollywood world. As much as possible they try everything to please a vast majority of their fans and the general public. But of course someone always loses in this race. Adoption is okay when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do it, but when Madonna does it, she’s ridiculed. So, like I said, you don’t always win.

Being: Innovative and Provocative.

Now here is a tricky one, but if you do it right, my oh my, the power you will possess. Someone fresh who comes on the scene and is daring! Wearing outfits or performing with extreme theatricality can open some major doors. Take Lady GaGa, for instance, we haven’t seen someone like her in a long while. You might not like her, but she’s on the right track to having lots of staying power.

Making people think about anything that no one wants to talk about will get you a lot of points in the fame department. Collectively, people may not agree with your point of view, but know for certain, you are making some headway. As you know I despise Perez Hilton, but he no doubt is provoking thoughts, mostly bad, but nonetheless, look where he started. DAMN HIM! Ha! Ha!

These are just a few of the elements I have witnessed from afar watching my favorite and least favorite celebrities rise to the top throughout my life. Hopefully one day I can be famous and sell everyone a copy of my tell all book, “How To Become Famous.” Until then I’m just Joey Broyles.

GOOD LUCK BRITNEY! WIN SOME MORE AWARDS!!! But no matter what I know you’ll be amazing as always!

Well I finished my little project that I was talking about last week. MAKE ME FAMOUS: As you can see for yourself down below:

Of course today when I wanted to do something rather controversial the tripod was still in my bf’s car, making me have to improvise. Oh well there’s plenty time to make many, many more videos! But for now here are today’s four videos:

If any of you know me. You know that my bread and butter is Madonna and Britney Spears. If anything happened to one of these goddesses, I would be beside myself, like many loyal Michael Jackson fans are right now.

I’ve been Googling Britney Spears Performs VMAs 2009. For the last couple of days and I really want her to come back to that stage and show up the whole industry. She’s wonderful and that’s all I have to say.

So I’m posting this public letter to our dear Britney! Maybe, someday, she’ll read it! LOL!

Dear Britney,

As one of your fans I think it would be great, if you have the courage, to jump back on that VMA stage and perform once again! Personally, the VMAs are not what they use to be and that makes me sad and disappointed. Other people’s performances are not up to par with your past performances, there is no spark on that stage. And one thing that you prove time and time again is that no one performs like you!

You and your management team will do whatever you feel is right for you, but you light up that stage and that’s where you need to be. Don’t mind me, I’m going to get all sentimental, knowing that you’ll probably never read this, but I don’t care! You really do inspire me every day and I live each day a little better than I would if you did not exist. So thank you for dreaming the dream and getting where you are today, even though at times, I do not know how you’ve survived the Hollywood Circus. But you have! So thank you for being you!

Not pardon my french but, GET YOUR ASS ON STAGE AND SHOW THOSE BITCHES WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF! And for the love of God give them a tease of Gimme More Part 2, just to show them how awesome you truly are!

Please perform at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards!

Love,
Joey Broyles

My beef w/ Perez Hilton continues. He has convinced me that you should never be his friend if you are a celebrity, because he writes about you no matter how close you are. I’m sure in the case of Britney Spears and Perez they aren’t the closest of friends but still. Britney goes out of her way to invite this boy into her world and for him to do some sort of an intro for her show.

Well that’s fine and dandy but Britney keep your walls and armor up when it comes to this fuck nut! Look what I found from Perez’s recent post:

He is so totally obnoxious that it is honestly addictive. He really is a the gay stereotype. He’s such an old maid and he enjoys the pain of others. I don’t knock his positive comments, but they are few and far between. Most of the positive things he will say are for personal idols, hot boys, and people he wants to slither around.

The rest of Hollywood, as always, is fair game. In my opinion that makes Perez Hilton fair game. So that is why I’ve created my own campaign: I WANNA PUNCH PEREZ HILTON CAMPAIGN, t-shirts and other merchandise to follow.

And this video:

There will be no Perez reigning on this parade!

-Queen Bitch

So I’m totally in love with these outfits I just created on Photoshop. Obviously the T-shirts are designed by me and are available on my store, but the whole outfits are amazing. In fact these would be my fashion recommendations for all boys! Please disregard that these beautiful models do not have arms nor heads, lol.

This first outfit is obviously my personal style personified! POP STAR.In my heart I am a Pop Star and I always have loved this style. Something great to wear when you go out or to shoot a music video in. Wink! I was amazed to find these jeans online, because they look just like my old ones! Advice: Never throw away your bleach jeans, ever! I think I’ll make a new pair.

The Casual Defiance Style. Looks like you are just in an every day outfit but, then of course, you have your thought provoking t-shirt on. Below The Influence. Honestly I designed this t-shirt specifically for those damn commercials, “ABOVE THE INFLUENCE.” Those commercials annoy the hell out of me. First off the commercial categorizes drug addicts as minorities, and then it has the audacity to brainwash you as well. I’m not a drug user, smoker, or drinker but give me a fucking break. I’m Below The Influence, not above, I support my druggies and Abby Normals.

And lastly Vintage Chic Style. The Alphabet Pony T-shirt may be a new design, but the whole feel of the outfit is definitely vintage. Skater like shoes, baggy jeans, and a charcoal t-shirt with a design that resembles vintage company logos. And it’s of course it’s chic because I designed it!

In other news look at Britney Spears’ shoes:

Aren’t they amazing? Yes!

Well my shows are all coming to an end this week and next… Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl, and 90210. When the shows are over, it’s time for summer! Yay!

Today I also worked on a top secret project which only a few people have known about. It’s a special song that I plan to do the triple threat with: song on iTunes, video on YouTube, and if you’re lucky, REMIX! All I will tell you is that I have made lots of progress with this song today. I’ve got the vocal tracks all layed out, as well as the basic melody, and even a beat! I have my new iDrum program to thank for that. Seriously beats come easier when I can just create patterns with a program. I admit that beats are my weakness, but I will no doubt continue to work on them. Oh one more thing the song is called IF U LUV ME. That’s all I’m giving. Those of you on the inside with recording experience may see my songs before others, but it’s cause I’ll need input!

Do you like my new Facebook profile picture? You don’t? That’s okay you don’t have to like the Queen. You just have to deal with the facts that you are living in denial. Nah. I’m not that superficial. I’m going to show you my top five favorite t-shirt designs I’ve created and tell you a bit about each of them.

Let’s start with GLAMOROUS!

When I first bought the Fergie cd I was totally excited for her song Glamorous. I believe it embodies how every artist should feel about their fame. It’s really great and amazing to be famous, but “I still go to Taco Bell, Drive thru raw as hell.” I had a vision when I heard this song of velvet ropes and the celebrities are behind the rope or bouncer who’s holding a sign Glamorous. I took photos of each of my friends and myself and then put them through several effects in Photoshop and then ended up with the look. (From left to right Kelly, Jackie, Me, Danny, and Lnz)

The Sponge of Love

This design was created back in early February 2004. What can I say? Love was in the air. I was talking online with Danny and our friend Matt and listening to Janet Jackson’s Just A Little While. I was incredibly excited for my first Valentine’s Day with Danny and just generally in a super good mood. As I remember Matt was not in a good mood so I suggested he could absorb some of my happiness. He said something to the effect, “Sure. I’ll soak it up like a sponge.” Instantly I thought The Sponge of Love. Of course later The Sponge of Love birthed an arch nemesis called The Sponge of Evil!

Breathe

Now what I love about this design is it sold a whole lot! In one month I sold seven t-shirts for the ladies. So cool. Danny wasn’t ever really interested in this design, which I think is why fate made it sell over and over again. In total, without promotion of my store, I’ve sold 16 items with this design on it. The idea was inspired by all the times that I wished I would’ve just taken a breath and let go of all the bull shit. So this design means a lot to me.

The Undiscovered Collection

There was something amazing about this design. I have never seen anything quite like it and I have Photoshop to thank for it. It originally started as a gift for my aunt denise and then turned into much more. I used some cool effects on Photoshop and then used the air brush tool to apply makeup onto myself. A lot of the times I totally feel undiscovered and wish I’d be undiscovered and that’s pretty much where the title came from and I was listening to a lot of Ashlee Simpson when I made these!

Last but not least. The Shanikwa Shanikwa Show logo.

I’ve put a lot of time, effort, and sweat into Shanikwa Jones. I have created a character who I think is very original and I totally love her. I love the look of the logo because it looks like one of those old cartoons from Warner Brothers. Sort of like Porky the Pig at the end of each cartoon. It just works so well with branding the show. So please if you haven’t watched the show, try it out!

The Shanikwa Shanikwa Show

Completely off the subject I’m totally booked this summer. Here’s the list of
Blockbuster Movies I Must See:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Star Trek
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Angels & Demons
Terminator: Salvation
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Public Enemies
Chéri

Danny and I already have our tickets for both Wolverine and Star Trek: The Imax Experience(is there anything better?). It’s so sugar!