The Joey Factory

To watch this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/v/qhvECkY0zIE&hl=en_US&fs=1&

I’ve had and have many guilty pleasures, aside from Girl Scout cookies. Trashy prime time television has been my favorite since Melrose Place. “Mondays are a bitch!” I was no older than eight years old when I started watching these kinds of shows. I went from The Smurfs to Melrose Place. I can remember when Jane (Josie Bissett) and her sister Sydney(Laura Leighton) got into that fight. Sydney was in Jane’s wedding dress and Sydney said, “Let me go or I swear to god I’ll break your arm.” and in the pool they fell. I don’t know when the expression OMFG was invented but for me it was at that moment. I’m in love with gossip, teen angst, and a good bitch fight. What else does life have to offer?

Since the rebooting of 90210, I have hoped and prayed that the remake of Melrose Place was around the corner and it so is! I just read this amazing story about Ashlee Simpson joining the cast of the new Melrose Place.

I fucking love it and the description of her character as follows: :”Violet Foster, a Spokane, Wash., gal who hops on the bus to Los Angeles the day after she graduated. Violet is described as having a sex appeal she’s not afraid to use to her advantage and a seeming small-town naiveté that masks her shrewd, plotting nature.” I hope she’s a slut, I really do. Now I do mean that in the nicest possible way. She’ll be wonderful and maybe she’ll put another CD out soon, I hope!

You better believe that I’m an Ashlee Simpson fan. I’ve been one since her reality show and I’ve bought every cd she’s recorded, on the release date.

I hope this new Melrose Place soars and gives me a bunch of those dirty camera angles of clothes falling to the ground, ie sex! And there better be a gay boy on this show, for real! For me the character Matt(Doug Savant) was the first gay person I knew of and I always thought, secretly, that he was beautiful.

Last night I watched three episodes of the new 90210 so that I could catch up. That show has gotten really juicy, aside from Annie’s lame parents. Seriously! Any of you out there ever recall both of your parents coming into your room all lovey-dovey to see what you were doing? Maybe when you were like what, an infant, not when you are a teenager. It’s so fake and maybe this really does happen, and I’m just out of the loop because I grew up in the land of dysfunctional. Any way anytime they have a scene I want to either skip to the next scene or yell at the screen. Now of course Annie was never my favorite character until last night! She’s getting bad and that’s great!

But I do have a confession that my straight crush award goes to Anna Lynn McCord. She’s just a knock-out! And plays the best bitch, the one you love to hate, and I love a real bitch!

In other news where the hell is Gossip Girl, now that’s my favorite show. The idea of a bunch of Upper East Side New York kids and all their money, fashion, and problems. Delicious and something to envy or even die for. Now with this show I really don’t have any pet peeves other than I wish it was not on rerun right now.

This show has style, class, grace and a very improved talent. The character I might identify most with is probably Dan, but we all know I’d rather be Chuck Bass(Ed Westwick), or just sleep with him. Simply put, I really wish there was a Gossip Girl who existed during my time at Sun Prairie High, it would’ve made life that much more fun!

Well I made my own Gossip Girl site but it’s really just poking fun at my friends. Trust me I’d love to have my site anonymous and waste my days texting and blogging about current high schoolers for sport! But alas, I am not one who likes being arrested or sued for slander. Below is a screen shot of my site!

Yes the expression has been used many a time, Joey “you have too much time on your hands.” Well friends, there is never enough time to do whatever you set your mind to. If I want to bleach a couple pair of jeans, design a website, or make a YouTube video then I’ll do just that. Keep in mind I have to two full days off a week, so that’s all I’ll ever need. Two days!

That’s right you…BITCH!